Funny? I thought so!

[douglee]

Hi Bazza,
Lets not get too serious, but you are right the really good jokes you can't tell.

Like the Forman shouting grennsideup all the time. People thought he was mad.
Till they realised he had _ _ _ _ ish labourers laying turf.

[CaptainBazza]

I larfed so hard at that one, I had to lawn down.

Actually the Irish had the last larf...they got paid overtime to fix their 'error'.

[douglee]

Hi,

Bus driver moves on to One Man Operated Double Deckers
Inspector gets a call out to an accident.
It's the new driver the bus is in a shop.
"What happend?" said the inspector.



"How should I know I was upstairs collecting the fares."

[johndibben]

Queue at bus stop.

One person asked another 'How long's the next bus?'.

'36 feet'.

[CaptainBazza]

BOOM! BOOM!

[douglee]

Hi Jon,

Queue at bus stop.

One person asked another 'How long's the next bus?'.

'36 feet'.

Welcome on board.

Who cares if they are well used they are still funny.

Passenger:- Do you do return tickets?
Conductor:- Yes. where to?



All togegther. Back here of course.

[CaptainBazza]

I feel emotional and proud to be in the company of such truly bad jokes.

[douglee]

Hi Bazza,

Is that so! Then this will make you cry.


Herd the latest. Milks going up!





That'll make the cow's eyes water.

But that an udder story.

[rufuskins]

. . . as you've opened all the Xmas crackers, there'll be no jokes for the rest of us on Xmas Day!

Ruf

[douglee]

Hi Ruf,
Opend the chiristmas crackers? I''ve still got those from the last 55 years!
I bet you belive that.
What's your favorite joke?


How about?
A cannibal come back off holiday with an arm missing.
His mate asks "What happend to you?"





I went self catering.

[Lad491]

Are we allowed Irish Jokes ?

How about:

How do you confuse an Irishman.

Stand him in a circular room and tell him to stand in the corner.

or

Give him three shovels and tell him to take his pick. (Think about that one )

[douglee]

Hi,

Right we've got to get this post in. I'll hold on and when I nod my head you hit it!


Cannibal in a posh restraunt complained because the finger bowl was empty.

[dkightley]

Tourist goes into the Information Centre...

"Excuse me. This brochure isn't telling the truth."

"What appears to be the problem, Sir?"

"I've been down to the railway station....and the trains are the same colour as everywhere else!"

"I'm sorry, Sir. But I can't see what that has to do with this brochure."

"Look here! It says you have a funny colour railway!"

[douglee]

Hi Doug,

Funny and railway orientated.

Well done!


Driving examiner "In the traffic light sequence what comes after green?




Learner "I don't know I've gone by then."

[douglee]

Hi All,
Are we all joked out?


How about?

Doctor to patient "Bad news I'm afraid we took the wrong leg off and had to do the other one as well"
"However there is good news"



"We managed to sell your slippers"




That one might get me banned.