JOKES

UKTRAINSIM · Post by **UKTRAINSIM** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 6:13 pm

Ugly?

UKTRAINSIM · Post by **UKTRAINSIM** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 8:45 pm

One of the Borrowers thats been captured?

terrycunliffe · Post by **terrycunliffe** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 10:01 pm

Papper bag?? LUXURY... We use fert DREEEEAM o' livin inna papper bag... We 'ad fert lev inna septic tank.....

saddletank · Post by **saddletank** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 11:03 pm

What do you call a bloke with a rabbit shoved up each nostril?

Warren.

terrycunliffe · Post by **terrycunliffe** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 11:19 pm

What do you call a bloke with a shovel on this head?

Doug.

terrycunliffe · Post by **terrycunliffe** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 11:21 pm

How do you cook sausages in the jungle?

Under the gorilla...

terrycunliffe · Post by **terrycunliffe** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 11:23 pm

What do Mexicans put their carpets on?

Underlay! , Underlay!

UKTRAINSIM · Post by **UKTRAINSIM** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 2:30 pm

What did the Yorkshireman say when he had a tab of ecstasy injected into his gum?

EE BY GUM!

UKTRAINSIM · Post by **UKTRAINSIM** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 2:42 pm

There was an old RAF veteran of WW2.He was Dutch and was making an apperance on a radio show.

He told his story of one of his days in battle.
'It vas terrible! There were Fockes to the left, Fockes to the right, Fockes coming at me from in front, Fockes coming at me from behind, there vas one Focke who wouldn't get off my tail and I shot down fourteen of these Fockes. I'm not scared of them Nazi Fockes!'

Just then the radio presenter interupted him and said ' let me just explain to our audience that when you say Focke you mean Focke Wulf aircraft right?', with the dutchman replieing 'yes but these particular Fockes were Messerschmitts!'

(and if you dont find that funny, then try saying the dutchmans lines in a dutch accent )

philbozz · Post by **philbozz** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 3:08 pm

What do you call a bloke without a Spade on his head???

Douglas(found it on a piece of paper in the art room)

nwallace · Post by **nwallace** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 4:18 pm

UKTRAINSIM wrote:There was an old RAF veteran of WW2.He was Dutch and was making an apperance on a radio show.

He told his story of one of his days in battle.

Was that joke not once told by a popular comic on television much to public disgust (well it was the 70s or 60s and the british public... coud have been alst week)

terrycunliffe · Post by **terrycunliffe** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 4:58 pm

What do you call a man with a truck on his head?

Laurie

philbozz · Post by **philbozz** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 6:28 pm

(not this again!!!)

How do you get an elephant in a freezer

Open the door put the elephant in the frieezer close the door

How do you get a Giraffe in the Freezer???

Open the door take the elephant out, put the girrafe in the freezer close the door!

The Lion King is holding a conference of all the animals which two dont turn up???

The elephant cos its frozen
The giraffe cos its stuck in the freezer

bravedan · Post by **bravedan** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 7:56 pm

Two Blondes are on either side of a river.....

One shouts across to the other "How do I get to the other side??"

The other one shouts back "You ARE on the other side, silly......"

bravedan · Post by **bravedan** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 8:06 pm

Two rabbits are at a roadside one night.

Along ambles a Hedgehog, and asks them how they always manage to get across without getting squashed by "the big lights that move"

Easy, says one rabbit and as a car approaches it runs out, freezes in the headlights, and the car passes over it, leaving it to scamper the rest of the way to the other side, where it waves happily to the hedgehog.

The Hedgehog waits till another car approaches, then trundles out into it's path............................SPLAT............

The rabbits look across the road at each other, and one says.......... "Blimey, you don't see many Reliant Robin's these days"..................