MSTS -- Microsoft Trampoline Simulator?

jashton · Post by **jashton** » Tue Aug 20, 2002 6:09 am

Jeff

basildd · Post by **basildd** » Tue Aug 20, 2002 8:08 am

Bizarre, truly bizarre...

TylerDurden · Post by **TylerDurden** » Tue Aug 20, 2002 9:55 am

I know how its done

.

saddletank · Post by **saddletank** » Tue Aug 20, 2002 10:09 am

The cast of Minority Report refuse to hand in their jet back-packs when filming is done.

Or

"Oi, come back 'ere wiv that bludy platform"

Or

"Booooiiiing..." said Zebedee, "Time for bed!"

Or

Indian Fakirs train delayed.

There are other possibilities but I have work to do

Timcourt1 · Post by **Timcourt1** » Tue Aug 20, 2002 11:13 am

Mulder: "Scully...this reminds me when my sister was abducted back in 87

Scully : (Sigh)

saddletank · Post by **saddletank** » Tue Aug 20, 2002 11:18 am

"Standard class accomodation is in the Gold Zone
First class accomodation is in the Purple Zone
Alien class accomodation is in the Invisible Zone"

Post by **NeutronIC** » Tue Aug 20, 2002 12:16 pm

New Government Plan Announced to Save Money on the Railways!

In a radical new move to save money the government has today announced it's latest plan to save money on the Railways.

"One of the largest costs in rolling out new track is the stations themselves, not to mention their continued upkeep." announced E. Jit, senior technician for the new scheme.

"We decided that we would no longer be building stations and would begin a programme of removing all existing ones. They would instead be replaced by small Jetpack dispensers, passengers then need only wear a simple and safe Jetpack to jet up to the height of the carriage to board".

Coupled with this scheme, Mr Jit also let slip plans to introduce 5 storey trains, "With Jetpacks being used to board the trains there is no limit to how high the trains can go!"

When asked about the availability of these Jetpacks Mr Jit commented that they were still in development but that removal of stations was to commence immediately.

"We estimate we'll have the Jetpack prototypes ready in some small stations by 2005 and general nationwide rollout by 2008"

When asked what passengers would do in the mean time, Mr Jit replied
"We'll have crane's moved in to all platforms to do the demolition and we'll just hoist people on to the trains".

This reporter looks forward to yet more top quality and well thought out decisions on behalf of his national rail network.

DaveR · Post by **DaveR** » Tue Aug 20, 2002 12:34 pm

You sure there's no floor in that coach

saddletank · Post by **saddletank** » Tue Aug 20, 2002 1:05 pm

Kerry wrote:You sure there's no floor in that coach

Another cost saving feature.

Post by **NeutronIC** » Tue Aug 20, 2002 2:00 pm

Breaking news on Further Cost Reduction Measures

After the previous interview, an eagle-eyed reader noticed a lack of flooring in the coaching stock shown in the photograph and we took this revelation to Mr E. Jit to get his comments.

Initially unhappy at our insistence that he answer the question instead of dodging it and trying to run away, once dangled outside of his 18th storey window he decided to help us with our enquiries.

"Crane's are proving too expensive so our engineering team have devised alternative seat supports to enable us to remove the underside of the coaching stock altogether." commented Mr Jit, confirming the pictures content.

We asked what this meant regarding passenger boarding, if crane's were in fact not going to be used?

"We will provide trolleys and roll our customers underneath the train to a point they can sit up and climb in to a seat"

When we asked Mr Jit about the safety of this, especially with regard to children that are always hard to keep still on long journey's, he responded "The new seats will have restraints- uh, i mean seatbelts provided, and everyone will be required to use them".

Mr Jit declined to comment on whether this new measure would also enable more strict and forceful punishments to be given to travellers without a valid ticket for the entire journey.

basildd · Post by **basildd** » Tue Aug 20, 2002 3:02 pm

Matt, just wondering how much time you are spending thinking up things to post here and how much time you re not spending doing the headlight mods on certain Class 66's which GBRf keep pestering me for! I blame the loss of your PC - its obviously stressing you out

saddletank · Post by **saddletank** » Tue Aug 20, 2002 4:06 pm

Hey Basil, you can easily spot when Matt doesn't have a computer to keep him occupied can't you?

Timcourt1 · Post by **Timcourt1** » Tue Aug 20, 2002 4:17 pm

Funny...I was just thinking the same thing martin

basildd · Post by **basildd** » Tue Aug 20, 2002 6:02 pm

Well I didn't want to say too much - or my Class 66 lights might go back to the bottom of the pile!