Funny? I thought so!

[oldrocker]

My contribution for an awful joke, brace yourselves people...

I just some some guys go up and attack that bloke from Match of the Day with bags of crisps!

It was a case of assault on Lineker.

Well, I did warn you!

Adam

Nothing could prepare us for that !

[oldrocker]

Ayli saw Aynuk pulling a piece of string behind him.

'Ay Aynuk, why'm yow pullin' that piece of string?'

'Yow try pushin' it!'

[Acorncomputer]

My contribution for an awful joke, brace yourselves people...

I just some some guys go up and attack that bloke from Match of the Day with bags of crisps!

It was a case of assault on Lineker.

Well, I did warn you!

Adam

Nothing could prepare us for that !

Two peanuts walking down the street .......................... one was assaulted

-

[rufuskins]

Hopefully SWMBO won't read these:-

There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defence.

Alec

[rufuskins]

Now this one is bad . .

Did you know that the Beatles wrote a song about Wigan


















"Wigan work it out!

Oh my how sad I feel, Alec

[CaptainBazza]

You've probably heard the old hoary joke that goes as follows?

A rabbit walks into a bar carrying a length of macadam (tarmac) and sez to the barman, "Give me a slug of whisky, and one for the road."

The yarn wasn't completed.

A rabbit walks into a bar carrying a length of macadam (tarmac) and sez to the barman, "Give me a slug of whisky, and one for the road."

...Suddenly a safe from an upstairs office crashes through the bar's ceiling and crushes the rabbit onto the road. Yet another sad road kill story.

...is how is should have gone.

Algernon, without apologies.

[CaptainBazza]

Did you know that the Beatles wrote a song about Wigan

Yeah, they had their 'off days', too, like the rest of us.

Cheers Bazza

[Acorncomputer]

"Wigan work it out!

I remember that one ... or at least I think I do

and that holiday song ... All You Need is Hove

and that other Wigan song ..... The Long and Wigan Road

-

[rufuskins]

"Wigan work it out!

Well they do life is vertically challenged!

Alec

[jbilton]

Hi
That reminds me of

" A big piece of Tarmac walks into a bar ..... and says I'm a part of the A40 .... I carry 40 cars and 20 lorries a minute .... and I'm tuff.
Then an even bigger piece of Tarmac walks in... and says I'm part of the A1 .... and I carry 60 cars and 30 lorries a minute ....and I am tuff.... move over
but then a Huge piece walks in .... and says I'm part of the M1 .... and carry 100 cars and 50 lorries a minute... both of you move out of the way.
The door swings open and a thin weeded bit of red Tarmac comes in .... and the 3 big pieces... rush away from the bar .... and hide in a corner.
The barman says ... oih ... I thought you lot were tuff .... we are say the Tarmacs ..... but he's a 'cycle path' "

Cheers
Jon

[paulz6]

A builder walks into a metaphorical room. It contains a pile of bricks and a pile of cash.
The builder uses the pile of bricks to build a house, and burns the pile of cash to warm the house.
A financier walks into a metaphorical room. It contains a pile of bricks and a pile of cash.
The financier uses the pile of cash to bet that the house will never be built, and then discards with the pile of bricks as it costs too much too store.

[CaptainBazza]

Did you know that Yellow Submarine was originally going to be called Mellow Submarine....for obvious reasons?

[paulz6]

They call it yellow mellow...
And you cannot let off steam on a virtual railway forum! Luckily it is not delivered that way....

[englishinnz]

Hi chaps and chapesses!,
Let's revive this topic, laughing might keep you guys and gals in the UK a bit warmer through the winter.
This ones only worth a chuckle at most.

I've just booked a table for Valentine's Day for me and the wife.


It's bound to end in tears though; she's cxxx at snooker.

all the best,
Terry.

[stephenholmes]

Good morning
Some friends of mine have been visiting York this week
They booked their accommodation at the Premier Inn
Upon leaving York Station they got in to a black cab and said to the driver Premier Inn Blossom Street
In the time it took my friend to fasten his seat belt they arrived at their hotel
Blossom Street is only around the corner from York Station
I laughed when they told me
Kind regards Stephen