Quotes from the Ticket Office

[metromuppet]

I've given wrong tickets to people on purpose before as well, there are many places that sound the same or have the same name.

People in my town ask for Shoreham, they usually mean Shoreham-by-Sea, but i sell them Shoreham (Kent) if they said Shoreham-by-Sea then they get the correct ticket.

Ashford - I give them Ashford Middlesex when they want Ashford Intl.

Another good one...

Pax. Child ticket please
Me. got any proof of age?
Pax. No, I'm 15
Me. Sorry, if i'd known that i'd sent you a birthday card.

Most annoying place is Witton, Witham, Whitton, Withyham. They all have the same pronounciation.

Ed, not a good idea to publicly put that on here- im sure other people from Southern look on here. It is one thing having a laugh with people, but actualy decieving someone isnt nice. As Matt said, other people may not know much about the railway, as you do. For example, other people may not know there are two shorehams and two ashfords ect.
Or two London Roads- especiely as 99% of train crew say "London Road", and not the correct "London Road Brighton".
Ticket office clerks are suppost to advice apon and sell the best ticket and cheapest ticket for the passengers journey, providing good customer service. A passenger could report you if he/she recieved a penalty fare from the relevent TOC.- espeicley as every ticket can be traced back to the station and machine issued at.

[sp762]

Too right. If you gouged me for price or sent me to the wrong place I'd have a few things to say about it.

[Elojikal]

The onboard computer announcement says "London Road (Brighton)" anwyay...as well as mispronouncing Moulsecoomb.

[southcoasttrains]

Metromuppet,

I do give the cheapest tickets and the suitable advice.

99% of passengers do say Shoreham-by-Sea and the London Road is obvious, although I have done the Brighton one and person came back wanting Guidford.

Elojikal - how is Moulsecoomb pronounced?

[Elojikal]

Without being a phonetics expect able to explain it using those squiggly little symbols;

Moul as in "Maul", se as in "goose", coomb as in well, the b isn't silent but it's not pronounced either.

Maulse-coom

The onboard announcement of "Moulzzcoo-mb" is too posh. The correct pronounciation reflects the fact that it's a hole full of burnt out cars, kappa slapper mums and burberry dads who are still at school and think the way to speak in public (for example when on the buses) is to litter their sentances with the f-word and spend most of their time on their mobile phones having arguments for the sake of arguing and threatening to go round someones "owse" and beat them up.

The sort of people who look up to EastEnders as though it were Dynasty in other words.

[steve1023]

Without being a phonetics expect able to explain it using those squiggly little symbols;

Moul as in "Maul", se as in "goose", coomb as in well, the b isn't silent but it's not pronounced either.

Maulse-coom

The onboard announcement of "Moulzzcoo-mb" is too posh. The correct pronounciation reflects the fact that it's a hole full of burnt out cars, kappa slapper mums and burberry dads who are still at school and think the way to speak in public (for example when on the buses) is to litter their sentances with the f-word and spend most of their time on their mobile phones having arguments for the sake of arguing and threatening to go round someones "owse" and beat them up.

The sort of people who look up to EastEnders as though it were Dynasty in other words.

Never thought I'd see the words Moulescoomb(or variation of) & posh in the same sentence.

[salopiangrowler]

Morzelcoom

[MuzTrem]

As a volunteer ticket inspector at the Ruislip Lido Railway, I know how frustrating the job can be! The problem is that many people ask questions that are perfectly reasonable, but that you've heard a thousand times before. It does become rather repetitive after a while...
It does annoy me slightly when people ask "when's the next train?" and "how much is it?" when the timetable and fare prices are clearly displayed on a notice right in front of them. Nevertheless, I try to be as patient and courteous as I can, because I know that the railway needs all the customers they can get.
Another problem is that because we're a miniature line, people assume it's a circle, and consequently never specify single or return. On the other side of the coin, people sometimes assume we can take credit cards, which we can't, and they often like to pay with £10 or £20 notes which runs us out of change really quickly.
And people get really confused during the Santa Special season, because trains only depart from one end of the line. We always put a notice up at the other station instructing people to come to the other end of the line, but I still had to take a phone call once from a very cross woman waiting at the other station who bitterly complained that she had waited for twenty minutes and no train had come! Another popular one is "can we pre-book for the Santa Specials?" Unfortunately they can't.
But I think the most difficult of all tasks faced by a ticket officer is breaking the news to dog owners that they can't take their pets on the train...

[Tomnick]

Try giving the general public something as complicated as a signalbox to puzzle themselves over...and then resist the temptation to give daft answers to their questions .

[ajax103]

As part of my job, I'm expected to pick rubbish off certain trains that comes into Kings Cross and I always get one person asking me, is this the train to so and so or does it stop at so and so, I don't know so I just refer them to the platform/revenue guys who would know even though they have to walk from one end of the platform to another.

Another one today, I wearing my work uniform with my workbag on my bag, a customer asks me how long does it take from London Kings Cross to Cambridge, I tell him I've got no idea but to ask at the GNER info desk which was closer to him especially as A.) The train was nearly ready to depart and B.) It's quite some distance to the FCC info desk.

I f I knew the info, they wanted I would tell them.

[Anonymizeruk]

Before I start, I want to point out this isnt a gripe at any railway staff, just a comment

I find it quite interesting at Nottingham when I overhear passengers asking the dispatch staff 'is this the train to xxx' or 'how do I get to xxx' - So often I see the dispatcher consult the departure board to confirm which train it is, then 3 minuites later, he / she dispatches the train. I would have thought the dispatcher would know where the train he is sending on its way is going (or at least its destination)

Cheers

Gaz

[MuzTrem]

I don't know so I just refer them to the platform/revenue guys who would know even though they have to walk from one end of the platform to another.

I know what you mean - I sometimes have to ask my supervisor when people ask when the next train is, because I can never remember the timetable off the top of my head (you'd think I would after working in the ticket office for about four years, but there we are!).
Another common misconception during the Santa Specials is that adults go free because they don't get a present from Santa. Surely they must realise that there's no such thing as a free lunch! And in any case, they do get a present - a free diary - so they can't complain!

[karlrestall]

Similar to MuzTrem I am a volunteer for the NYMR as a TTI and constantly get asked questions that are clearly visible on signs. Or I occasionally get the angry passenger that was not sat in the correct portion of the train to get off at Goathland, Newtondale or Levisham. Some times I think that the public just prefer to talk to a real person rather than look at the information around them, but sometimes it does get frustrating when you get asked 'Is there a buffet car on here' three or four times in as many minutes. 9 times out of 10 they're sat in the coach next to it or I have had some one ask when they have been sat in the buffet car itself.

Regards

Karl

[ajax103]

I don't know so I just refer them to the platform/revenue guys who would know even though they have to walk from one end of the platform to another.

I know what you mean - I sometimes have to ask my supervisor when people ask when the next train is, because I can never remember the timetable off the top of my head (you'd think I would after working in the ticket office for about four years, but there we are!).
Another common misconception during the Santa Specials is that adults go free because they don't get a present from Santa. Surely they must realise that there's no such thing as a free lunch! And in any case, they do get a present - a free diary - so they can't complain!

It's the same problem at my station in my hometown of P'boro, I'm walking halfway though one of the coaches of a 365 and a passenger asks me if this train stops at Potter Bar. There's a destination monitor less then two feet away from where they were standing on the platform displaying all the stops and destination. There's also the on-board information system and also the driver goes though the train information telling them what stops, the destination and safety prep before the train gets dispatched.

[martinhodgson]

It's apparently similar for airport staff - anyone wearing an airport ID must know about every flight, shop and facility at said airport!