Quotes from the Ticket Office

thenudehamster · Post by **thenudehamster** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 1:44 pm

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned the old chestnut of the really annoying prospective passenger:

Clerk: "May I help you, Sir?"
Passenger: "I'd like a return ticket, please."
Clerk: "Certainly, sir. Where to?"
Passenger: "Well, here, of course, you fool!"

Boom Boom!

evansoliver · Post by **evansoliver** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 9:49 pm

Hate to bring up an old thread but I work in the ticket office so many of these have come up, a few I have had:

Pax: What time does the 14:48 go to Reading
---
Pax: Can I have a single return to Twyford?
Me: So would you like a single or return?
Pax: CAN I HAVE A SINGLE RETURN TO TWYFORD?
---
Pax: Why has my train been cancelled?
Me: No trains have been cancelled. What train are you trying to get?
Pax: The train to Brighton.
Me: We don't go to Brighton from this station, you need Victoria.
Pax: No, I called up and asked to go from this station.

-- It went on with me explaining they probably told her to travel underground from Pad to Vic and change there. She eventually believed me.

More when I think of them, but those three stand out =)

allypally · Post by **allypally** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 9:57 pm

You can do an announcement for the only train in the station departing in 5 minutes stopping at all stations. I guarantee puzzled looking mother with kids on platform 'does this train stop at Rothley? When does it go?'

enotayokel · Post by **enotayokel** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:50 pm

I get a fair few bus related ones working for traveline...

Not helped by Arriva only putting the Traveline number on their litrature while keeping their own number well hidden...

Some good ones have included...

How Much is the Severn Bridge
Were will my Shearings coach to France go from
I have a disabled badge, can I park in xxxx bus station
Can I hire a Van
Can I book a hotel room (118 had given traveline instead of travel inn)
The cafe in the bus station wouldn't let me use their toilet
What does 45 minutes past the hour mean
Can you ban the old man who smells of urine from the bus

allypally · Post by **allypally** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:53 pm

enotayokel wrote:I get a fair few bus related ones working for traveline...

Not helped by Arriva only putting the Traveline number on their litrature while keeping their own number well hidden...

Some good ones have included...

How Much is the Severn Bridge
Were will my Shearings coach to France go from
I have a disabled badge, can I park in xxxx bus station
Can I hire a Van
Can I book a hotel room (118 had given traveline instead of travel inn)
The cafe in the bus station wouldn't let me use their toilet
What does 45 minutes past the hour mean
Can you ban the old man who smells of urine from the bus

The last one in your list happened in my area after said old man lost control of his bowels, leading to swift evacuation of the bus. Not surprisingly I never saw him again!

evansoliver · Post by **evansoliver** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:17 pm

enotayokel wrote: How Much is the Severn Bridge

Had similar at Paddington:

How much is the Heathrow Express?
I told them they would have to speak to BAA - it's a case of judging how the customer will take a jokey comment.

salopiangrowler · Post by **salopiangrowler** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:25 pm

Ive had a few. even non railway related one's while i was working on a railway.

Where's the manchester train? in front of you.

PA: the train approaching platform 3 is the 09:24 to chester calling at gobowen chirk ruabon wrexham general and chester.

train leave's

10 second's later. Is the train to chirk coming? no sorry love its just gone.

Dumb blondes been there like 30 minutes waiting for it. duhhhhh!!!!!

enotayokel · Post by **enotayokel** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:34 pm

One of my friends worked in the local National Express office when not at uni (her dad owned a small coach co) one she had was, when is the bus to Nottingham due.

Her reply was, it left 10 mins ago.

The customer said. I saw that come in, it was the number on my ticket, but it said on the front that it was going to Newcastle... no mention of Nottingham

allypally · Post by **allypally** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:44 pm

Unhelping destination boards - a genuine problem! It's all well and good knowing you want the, random made up example, 1724 train to Ely. But not knowing railways or the local area that well, which train is it really, the 1724 to Stansted Airport, the 1724 to Longbridge, the 1724 to Shrewsbury or the 1724 to Four Oaks!

Confuzzlement!

southcoasttrains · Post by **southcoasttrains** » Thu Jan 11, 2007 1:05 am

There are many places that sound the same or have the same name.

People in my town ask for Shoreham, they usually mean Shoreham-by-Sea, but theirs also a Shoreham in Kent.

Ashford - I give them Ashford Middlesex when they want Ashford Intl.

Most annoying place is Witton, Witham, Whitton, Withyham. They all have the same pronounciation.

evansoliver · Post by **evansoliver** » Thu Jan 11, 2007 1:15 am

Main one for me is:

Hayes or Hayes and Harlington

Passenger: Ticket to Hayes please.
Me: Do you need an underground ticket also?
Passenger: No it's fine, just a single to Hayes.

Also Stroud and Strood sometimes gets confused.

Oh and SCT i had one like yours:

Pax: asked for a child ticket
Me: oh sorry, how old are you?
Pax: 16
Me: Adult it is then.

spartacus · Post by **spartacus** » Thu Jan 11, 2007 9:36 am

southcoasttrains wrote:I've given wrong tickets to people on purpose before as well, there are many places that sound the same or have the same name.

People in my town ask for Shoreham, they usually mean Shoreham-by-Sea, but i sell them Shoreham (Kent) if they said Shoreham-by-Sea then they get the correct ticket.

Ashford - I give them Ashford Middlesex when they want Ashford Intl.

And do people wonder why folks get peed off with the quality of customer service?

AlistairW · Post by **AlistairW** » Thu Jan 11, 2007 2:34 pm

I really don't think knowingly selling people the wrong ticket is fair or something to brag about. No matter how bad your day is going or how stupid or annoying the passenger may seem. After all it’s the train manager who's going to have to correct it and deal with the angry passenger, it’s not like anybody is getting one up on them.

If I asked to go to Ashford I'd expect to be sold a ticket to Ashford, KENT. Trains can be confusing enough at the best of times, even to hardened travelers.

Why we don't start putting the train head-codes on timetables and destination boards I don't know. If you know you need train 1Z53 its much easier than trying to find out your destination, places like the trainline.com don't even tell you where your trains going!

AlanP46 · Post by **AlanP46** » Thu Jan 11, 2007 6:11 pm

AlistairW wrote:Why we don't start putting the train head-codes on timetables and destination boards I don't know. If you know you need train 1Z53 its much easier than trying to find out your destination, places like the trainline.com don't even tell you where your trains going!

Try using http://reiseauskunft.bahn.de/bin/query.exe/en - it runs off the same database as the trainline/NRE but will let you see more info.

Alan

enotayokel · Post by **enotayokel** » Thu Jan 11, 2007 7:00 pm

Yes but why go to Germany for this info. Our work system will tell us where a train is going, but not a bus.

Guess which I get asked most often